The Problem With Lying

The things I am going to write about today may be a little controversial. They’re not meant to be. They shouldn't be. I am going to delve into the arena of politics.

My words are directed at all politicians, all those who want to be politicians, all appointed cabinet or department heads, all spokes-persons, all political parties and all media.

STOP LYING TO US!

Unfortunately, there is not much we can do about the media. They are privately held companies that have their own agendas, viewpoints and slants.

But our politicians and their cohorts are another story.

How is our representative republic (we are not a democracy) supposed to work correctly with an uninformed or misinformed public? How is the voting public supposed to vote for the best individual when they can’t tell the difference between them? How is the voting public supposed to know who's corrupt and needs to be removed from office?

Let me be perfectly clear, this is not confined to one person, one politician, one party or one media outlet. It is rampant. It is engrained in the system. It is prevalent.

The lies and mistruths are disgusting, immoral and wrong. Yes, I said it wrong!

We, as the public, need to search for truth. Not what we want to hear, not what will make our lives easier, not what feels right at the time. We need to know the truth.

Unfortunately this is going to take work. It is going to take time. It is going to take commitment. It is going to take courage. It is going to take unending digging.

Then when we hear lies from politicians, their spokes-persons, their appointees or their marketing departments, we need to hold them accountable and we need to vote them out of office.

Just like a few firings at work for poor performance sends a message loud and clear to the other employees, if we vote some of these lying politicians, and their minions, out of office, the others will get the message and straighten up!

EFX: Drop the microphone…

I’m done!

Fair

I hear it from my kids all the time “That’s not fair!”  “Why did he get that and I didn’t? That’s not fair!” “My friends get to stay out later, why don’t I? That’s not fair!” It’s a broken record. It’s worse than nails on a chalk board, a poison ivy rash or listening to Rosie Perez for more than 8 seconds!

It’s now a familiar refrain we hear in the media all the time. Fairness this and fairness that.

News Flash! LIFE’S NOT FAIR!

Never has been, never will be. No one promised life would be fair. If they did, they lied to you.

Here’s what’s fair… You can make your life better with ingenuity, persistence and hard work.

It’s true, some of us have been blessed with better circumstances than others. But regardless of where we start, we can always end off better.

Some of our greatest hero’s started off in poor situations. Joan of Arc, Nelson Mandela, Jesse Owens, Winston Churchill, Rosa Parks, Helen Keller, should I go on?

It has been said “Attitude will determine altitude.” We can make anything of ourselves. Others have done it, we can too.

“It’s not fair” isn’t a statement of opportunity, it’s a cop-out!

The Two Most Powerful Words In The World

“Thank you.”

That’s it. Nothing spectacular. Nothing abstract. They aren’t even elegant.

But they are very powerful. They can move an individual to work harder or do a better job. They can change attitudes and outlooks. These two words, as simple as they are, can start to mend relationships that have been damaged for years.

Think of the last time someone said “Thank you” to you for something.  Anything. It could have been for something you did that wasn’t even difficult. How did it make you feel? Did it put a smile on your face? Did it motivate you to do it again or better? Did you have a little more pep in your step?

Now think of a time when you did something and no one thanked you.

Wow! Even thinking about it felt bad.

This is why “Thank you” are the two most powerful words in the world. They motivate, they uplift, and they can change a person in an instant.

When was the last time you said “Thank you” to those people in the shadows? A janitor, a garbage man, a store clerk, the housekeeper or bellman. And the people in your life that matter most, your children and spouse?

“Thank you” could be the two words that change a person’s life and sky rockets them to greatness.

Thank you.

The Little Things

A couple of weekends ago my wife and I went camping. It was just one night but we wanted to get out of town away from all the distractions of life.

After some hunting around, and a few small adventures, we found a place to put up the tent.

I began to be focused on putting up the tent, getting a fire started, getting our sleeping bags out, you know, all the stuff that I felt needed to be done.

My wife was focused on other things.

While I was busy getting other things done, she was focused on the flowers. “David come look at this!” Her excitement over things, I felt were inconsequential, was never ending. A squirrel would dart across the road and she would exclaim, “Quick get the camera!” My response was, “It’s only a squirrel.” A deer came close to our camp and she almost jumped out of her skin with excitement. I was trying to get the fire started and couldn’t bother.

I look back at our experience and wonder, who had the better time? Who enjoyed themselves better?

It is easy to get caught up in the tasks that “need” to get done. It isn’t so easy to take the time to look at the little things around us. To marvel at the beauty of nature. To focus on the world that extends more than five feet around us.

It is important to continue to be fascinated by life.

I think my wife got more out of our camping than I did, but I did learn a valuable lesson.

What Is That Big Rock Doing In The Middle Of My Path?

Most of us have some sort of a plan on how we see our lives progressing. It may only be in our head, but it is an expected direction we see ourselves going. High school, college, work, family, kids, work, retirement. Each of our paths are different.

But scattered upon our paths, most of us come upon some great big boulders. I’m not talking about ones that will move out of the way if you put back your back into it. I’m talking about those huge mammoth boulders that wouldn’t move with a stick of dynamite.

These boulders could be a lot of things. Health problems, money problems or relationship problems. These boulders can almost be anything. Each of us have our own, very specific and personal boulders and no two boulders are exactly the same.

Boulders appear for a myriad of reasons. Our poor decisions or others’ poor decisions. Sometimes we see the boulders from far away and other times they drop down in front of us from nowhere.

How we deal with these boulders says a lot about who we are.

We can go around them and try to avoid them. We can change our paths. We can stand there forever looking at the boulder and let it stop our journey. But if we don’t do something with the boulder we’re stuck. They will stay there and block our paths, always keeping us from getting to our desired destination.

The best way to deal with these boulders is to attack them. Take a pick ax and start swinging. Break them down to the point where all that is left is dust.

It, more than likely, will take some time. These boulders are enormous! But every time we grab the handle, exert the strength to lift the heavy head of the pick ax and swing, something incredible happens. We grow stronger!

After days and weeks and months of swinging, it gets easier. The pick ax seems to be getting lighter. Our swings are able to chip larger pieces of rock off of the boulder. The boulder gets smaller and smaller to the point where only a small pebble is left.

With this strength gained from dealing with a boulder, other boulders become less daunting and are easier to destroy. It’s a never ending cycle of building strength through crushing our particular, personal boulders.

It may be time to grab the handle of the pick ax. 

What Is It With White Whales?

Let’s talk about White Whales for a moment. 

Ahab is a ship’s captain who is looking for revenge. Moby Dick, his White Whale (literally), gnawed off his leg and Ahab is looking for payback.

Spoiler Alert! If you think you ever want to read this classic by Herman Melville and don’t want to know the ending, stop reading!

Moby Dick wins.

Moby Dick is an allegory of many things in our lives. We want something so bad we lose all perspective. Are we wanting that promotion at work so bad that we work 75 hours per week, neglecting our family? Maybe it’s a big house or a dream vacation we’re chasing.

White Whales can come in many forms, unrealistic expectations, all encompassing hobbies, over romanticized dreams can all become White Whales.

Sometimes we need to take an objective look at our life. Take stock.  What are we spending our time on? Is it what is most important? Is it pulling us away from what is really important, our family, our friends, our God?

The best way to slay our White Whale is to not feed it.

Maybe it’s time to turn our gaze to another target?

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Quiet Courage

A lot has been said in the news the past few days about courage.

We may agree or disagree with what is being said.

This discussion has been broadcast around the world, many times. But it's not the loud, boisterous or promoted courage that I want to talk about. It's the quiet courage, the quiet acts we do every day that I want to talk about.

It is the quiet acts of courage that define our mundane, 9-5 workdays.

I define courage as doing what is right when no one else is looking. It's courageous to speak the truth when no one wants to hear it. It's courageous to sell your client what they need instead of selling them what will help you make your budget. It's courageous to admit a mistake. It's courageous to help someone who no one else wants to help.

These type of courageous acts will not be screamed from the roofs or shouted from the mountains but they will be shared in quiet conversations with colleagues, management and potential clients.

A Lost Art

I talk with people for lots of hours each day. It is my job. I enjoy it. I think I’m pretty good at it.

But I am afraid, as a country, when we try to discuss topics where there is a difference of opinion, the art of civil discourse has been lost.

We no longer listen to understand. Sometimes we don’t even listen. While others are talking we're trying to come up with our rebuttal, yet we don’t even know what we are responding to because we are too wrapped up in what we are going to say. We have to be “right”.

Here are some ideas on effective communication.

Listening is the 1^st key to civil discourse.

While the person you are talking with is explaining their point of view, make eye contact, don’t look at your phone or out the window. Be attentive. Be sure they are done with their thought before you speak.

Asking questions is the 2^nd key.

Ask questions to understand. Why do you feel that way? How did you come up with that conclusion? What are you basing you opinion on? Ask them respectfully with the intention to learn.

Notice, these keys have nothing to do with the behavior of the person we are talking with. The keys are changes in our behavior that communicate to the other that we care, that we truly want to understand them and know why they have such strongly held beliefs.

When someone feels we genuinely want to understand, they open up and honestly share their opinion.

It is at this time we can come to an agreement or part ways without hurt feelings.

And there is nothing wrong with either conclusion. We could even still be friends.

What The Flag Means To Me

The white tombstones at Arlington National Cemetery, the statue of soldiers planting the flag at the Iwo Jima Memorial, the battleship USS Arizona Memorial at the bottom of Pearl Harbor. All tributes to the sacrifices made by courageous men and women who fought for our freedoms and our rights. Over half a million brave souls died for those freedoms and rights.

God given rights.

Rights guaranteed in our two founding documents, the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

The right to pursue life, liberty and happiness in anyway we deemed appropriate.

The Flag of the United States of America is the ultimate symbol of freedoms and rights.

May this flag always fly over our borders, our government buildings, our cities, our towns and our places of worship as a symbol of what our country believes and what we will always aspire to as a nation.

How To Be Happy

I would like to share an experience I had last night. 

My wife and I were out shopping and while in line, we saw a woman and a teenager buying a couple of kiddie pools.  In listening to their interaction, two things became obvious. First, the woman was going through chemotherapy for cancer. Second, they had only just met. 

The woman had a smile on her face and was very appreciative of the help she was receiving from the teenager.  As the line progressed toward the cashier, we learned that the teenager needed a ride home and the woman was unable to take him. They asked us if we would give him a ride. 

We usually don’t give rides to people we don’t know but this time we made an exception.

As we were taking him home, it was apparent he had some speech and communication difficulties. We learned that his parents had died from a heroin overdose when he was three. We learned that his grandmother, who took him in, died when he was five. He now lived with his older brothers, was attending high school in a different city, and was trying to get into college.

What struck me the most was how happy he was. He told us his philosophy was, since so many people had helped him, he was going to help as many people as he could. That is how he ended up with this woman that he didn’t know, in a check-out line, helping her with the kiddie pool. He saw that she needed help and he stepped up to the plate and helped.

And here is where I am going with this story. It is a proven fact that selfless service is the best way to achieve happiness.

We can be happy anywhere, any time, and in any situation if we serve others. Choose to serve.

David